Prior to Twitter, Dr. Buchard was most known for her drinks on the Citadel date with
Staff Commander Major Kaidan Alenko, which took place a few months before the Lazarus Project was completed. This "date" is said to be the worst night of her entire life. Pictures and stories of this event have been circulating the extranet ever since. (One such picture can be found at the bottom of this article).
She was born on planet Earth, August 28, 2158, in Campo Born, Rio Grande Do Sul, Brazil. When she was 2 years old her family was asked to relocate and help found the human colony on Elysium. Her father was asked to serve as one of the primary physicians on the newly founded colony, which he did for 14 years.
At the age of 16 her family relocated to the Citadel. Dr. Buchard spent a lot of time pouting over her move away from her old home and friends. This carried on until the Blitz occured, at which point she was very grateful to be living elsewhere. Since leaving Elysium she's only run into one of those friends, Keith Rambart, a skilled cybernetic implant specialist that gave Commander Zachary Shepard his "New Eyes", whom she ended up attending medical school with.
Life on the Citadel wasn't easy for Dr. Buchard. There weren't many humans when she first arrived and the aliens were anything but friendly. This forced isolation played a large part in why she spent so much time at her father's clinic helping him run errands and prepping beds for patients.
As for her family, she is an only child who has had limited communications with her parents since joining the Normandy crew. The limited communication is due, in part, to a small argument between Dr. Buchard and her mother in regards to her new career path. Mrs. Isabella Buchard fails to understand the appeal of leaving the comfort and safety of "home" for reckless exploits into the vast expanses of space regardless of how attractive soldiers in uniform may be.
At a young age Dr. Buchard attempted to perform various types of procedures on the household pets. This eventually resulted in a gaping wound in her arm and an immediate cease and desist in medical interest until several years later.
After working for her father at his clinic, she assisted in the Lower Wards clinic until she entered medical school. At the age of 22 she graduated and started her own clinic, which she ran until selling out to a large corporation.
During talks regarding the sell, she was notified by Captain David Anderson that the Normandy SR-2 was in critical need of medical assistance. She immediately began the process of contacting an SR-2 Shepard and the famous Doctor Chakwas in order to submit her resume. She has been working aboard the Normandy SR-1 and Normandy SR-2 since April 26 (year unknown).
Dr. Buchard has been known by many names. A few of these nicknames include:
- Kiki - a childhood nickname used before she grew boobs and her parents realized it sounded like a stripper name.
- "K" - a nickname friends from college and high school use for her.
- Scrunchy-nose - a nickname Major Alenko uses, which she insists she despises though it's been rumored it is in fact growing on her like a benign tumor.
- CDoc - a nickname used by the elite group of "Upper Guys"
- CitadelDoctor - Her login name for her favorite sites like GoF and XBL.
She's been known to be involved in relationships that are completely UNNATURAL and tend to make people very UNCOMFORTABLE. She's also BFFs with Commander Bellara Shepard, an unexpected friendship that started after Commander Shepard punched her in the boob.
Dr. Buchard tends to be involved in numerous plots for what the universe can only assume is an attempt at some sort of galactic domination. She's been seen discussing The Plan on several occasions with Major Kaidan Alenko and several other Plans with various Normandy crew members over the course of the last few years. One such scandal involved the spilling of copious amounts of greenish goo on Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko.
Her most infamous scandal involved the buying and distributing of "Love Potions" from a shady Gypsy character in one of the wards on the Citadel. This potion caused havoc as it was unleashed onto unsuspecting victims. The most disturbing incident noted was that of Corporal Richard L. Jenkins and his illicit one night affair with Major Alenko's Commander Shepard (also known as "The Psycho").
The point of Kayla's existence is linked so tightly with The Plan that to lose one, you can probably count on the other being lost shortly after. The Plan is very classified. It is so classified that just reading this section is putting your life in danger; but, for the sake of knowledge, I feel it necessary to share what I know. That being said, this only barely brushes the very outer layer on the true masterpiece that is The Plan.
Very shortly after Dr. Buchard was accepted as staff aboard the SSV Normandy,
Staff Commander Major Kaidan Alenko made his debut. It was obvious his life had not been easy. This, however, did not excuse the horrid way he treated poor Dr. Buchard in front of her colleagues. Several implications of stripping, prostitution, and whoring were mentioned in reference to their drinks on the Citadel several months before. Unfortunately, this happened to be the crews first impression of Dr. Buchard. Mortified and upset she's vowed never to forgive him for his awful cruelty. However, a few days into her service aboard the Normandy she realized Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was quite the opposite of his alternate self. He was everything good and kind while then Commander Alenko was the epitome of torment and hell. She immediately resolved to find out more about Lieutenant Alenko and how to properly woo him.
In one of her moments of daydreaming she wished out loud that the current love interest of the Lieutenant, Commander Bellara Shepard, would just disappear as if she'd never been so that she could have Kaidan Alenko all to herself. "Somehow", Major Alenko got wind of this wish and, wanting Bellara Shepard all for himself and out of the grips of his whiny-inferior self, decided he could put up with the doctor he loathed for the long term results of having his lovely Bellara by his side.
Since this teaming, The Plan has grown and been built upon but the objective remains the same: Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko will be Dr. Buchard's someday. And, while Dr. Buchard does feel awful about this now that she is BFF's with Commander Bellara Shepard, she is doing what she must for the good of the galaxy and for herself. All is fair in love and war.
Note: Some confusion has been noted, implying the preposterous idea that Dr. Buchard and the Major Kaidan Alenko, are involved. This idea is
true false. The only reason they even tolerate each other is because they're secretly in lo-- neither can figure out a way to get what they want without the other’s help.
- For some reason Dr. Buchard inspires people to think she's capable of all sorts of military procedures despite her lack of military training. She's been expected to act as a search and rescue team, a destroyer of vengeful mercs, a sharp shooter and of course, a doctor with 12 arms.
- She is an avid Galaxy of Fantasy player. Her most active character is a Hanar Warrior which she spends several hours using to shoot chickens and make chicken pot pie as well as prepare medical bandages.
- Though she's not very good, she does know how to shoot an assault rifle, thanks to private lessons from a Commander in the Alliance military.
- Contrary to popular belief, Dr. Buchard does in fact take off her mask but she always has it somewhere on or very near her.
- Her purse is not a purse with special indoctrinating powers.
- She encountered a wombat on the Citadel when she was 26 years old. She carries around a photograph as proof.
- Dr. Buchard's favorite ice cream flavor is Cotton Candy.
- She has sea green eyes and, while she insists it remains the same, her hair hair color tends to vary from a bright to dark auburn red depending on her mood and outfit.
- If she could put one day on repeat, it would be Towel Day.
- She loathes space spiders and has a secret special place in her heart for her Sexy Spider Killing Savior.
- Her most prized possession is an antique stethoscope that belonged to her great-great-grandfather which was lost after the geth attack on the Citadel. It was recently returned to her under some unusual circumstances.
- Her guilty pleasure is watching Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko bake cookies in nothing but a towel.
- She enjoys clothes and shoes and may be considered a bit of a shopaholic. It's been mentioned that she's secretly storing a large number of clothes in a secret wardrobe on Zach's Normandy, right next to the pool and sauna.